Laura…

I still remember the first time I saw her. Her bright, red hair was easily spotted, even in the dark lighting. I knew there was something special about her, but I don’t think I understood exactly how special she really was, nor did I fully understand the impact she would have on me. I remember making my way towards her, only because she was seated alone, and I took pity. I would soon find out that she didn’t particularly mind sitting alone; it had been that way her entire life. Cautiously, I sat next to her, silent, trying to think of what to say. Surprisingly, she was the one who first spoke, “You don’t have to sit here just because you feel sorry for me you know.” I don’t quite remember what happened from there, but I do recall her telling me to meet up with her in the morning. I didn’t.

She failed to show her face around school for weeks, and I instantly felt guilty about it. Was it my fault? Soon, I would find out that it wasn’t.  Apparently she had moved away. I didn’t know why it affected me as much as it did. We had only spoken once, and I had been the one to ditch her. I think I felt guilty about it, but the years passed. It was on that day, nearly 5 years later, that I saw that bright, red hair again. There was no use denying it, she was there.

My original reaction was to go up, say hi, and apologize for my past actions, but I, being the coward that I was,  took a seat in the farthest corner away from her. She sat down with a group of people; I chuckled at the irony. I was the one alone now, but I didn’t mind it. She must of recognized me because as soon as I walked out of the cafeteria, she followed. Walking, as if I was absolutely oblivious to the whole ordeal, I stopped by my favorite swinging bench and took a seat. She sat next to me ,stating, “I waited that morning. I wanted to thank you…for talking to me that night. You never came.”

I shook my head, “No, I didn’t. ”

She laughed, “I honestly didn’t expect you to. That’s the past. It’s quite a coincidence, don’t you think? Meeting up again? Here of all places.”

I nodded, surprised at her ability to quickly forgive.

We continued to talk, much like that first night. Little did I know, I would never see her again. I left that place at the end of the year; I left everything behind there, but there’s one thing she said to me that day that I’ll never forget.

“No matter what people tell you, you are worth it. I had to believe that…even when I was told otherwise; you should believe that to. Life’s hard, and I know you’ll feel like giving up, but I can see it in you…that strength to keep on moving forward. I can tell you right now, you’ll have to be strong enough for more than just yourself in the future. Promise yourself that you’ll never let the hate…darkness…discrimination…anything evil bring you down. I learned the hard way that there’s a lot to live for in this world. You need to believe that. Remember, and never forget….you will be making a difference in somebody’s life one day; whether you know it or not, it will happen. Most important of all, don’t ever lose your faith in God. He’s there…always.”

Those 136 words would stick with me, and to this day, I haven’t forgotten them. I don’t know what happened to Laura, but I’m sure she’s still over there at Baylor…changing peoples lives.  I’ll forever be thankful for her unending hope in others, her incredible words of wisdom, and her forgiving heart.

 

1 Peter 3:18“For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit,”

If I Could Write a Letter

If I could write a letter and tell you how I really feel

I'd let you know that my love for you is real

• I'd mention how I've waited to tell you the truth these past years
• I'd let you know the times I cried knowing you were hurting
• I'd make sure you knew how badly I wanted to tell you the truth
• I'd be sure to tell you that I always put your happiness before my own

If I could write a letter and tell you what I thought

I'd let you know how hard I fought

• I'd mention how I tried to help you stay happy, even when I was dying inside
• I'd let you know about the days I died inside knowing she was the one making you happy
• I'd make sure you knew how I stayed quiet because I knew, if I spoke, I would say something I'd regret
• I'd be sure to tell you that every day was harder than the last

If I could write a letter and tell you what I crave

I'd let you know about how much I gave

• I'd mention how I was always there
• I'd let you know about the nights where I would pray for you
• I'd make sure you knew how much time I spent looking after you; trying to make sure you were ok
• I'd be sure to tell you that I was always there, waiting for you to need me

If I could write a letter and tell you how much I care

I'd let you know about a love so rare

• I'd mention about how I fell for your smile
• I'd let you know about the million things about you that make me laugh
• I'd make sure you knew that, with you, I always had fun
• Most of all…
• I'd be sure to tell you that I've loved you, since day one.

I want to make it clear that this is not intended to be a poem, by definition. This was merely me putting thoughts into a format that I thought fit best. No, it doesn’t rhyme. No, it’s not supposed to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. God bless.

Verse of the day:

1 Peter 1:24-25“For, "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever." And this is the word that was preached to you.”

Quote of the day:

Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. - Ben Hecht

                                                                                                     

Everything on this page (excluding the “____ of the day”) belongs to me. Do not re-publish without my permission. 

© 2009

102 Q&A

 

My friend decided to answer 102 questions on her Facebook, and of course she wanted me to do it. I haven’t posted anything on this for a while so I thought, “what the heck.” Here you go. Enjoy… (seriously though, if you’re reading this…you must be really bored).

1. Are there any causes you strongly believe in? I’m anti-abortion, so Pro-life is a cause I hugely believe in.
2. Are you a member of any societies or or associations? I’m a member of the St. Vincent DePaul Society food pantry at my church, does that count?
3. Are you a people's person or do you prefer your own company? A little bit of both really. I like my alone time, but I also need to leave the house and be with other people.
4. Are you a virgin? If not, how old were you when you lost your virginity?Yes, I’m a virgin; I plan to be until marriage. 
5. Are you addicted to anything? I’m addicted to my phone. I cannot live with out it.
6. Are you afraid of ghosts? Nope. That’s not saying that I don’t believe in them. I do, although I prefer to call them spirits.
7. Are you afraid of heights? Kind of.
8. Are you short tempered? Depends.
9. Can you dance? Do you like dancing? I took dance all four years in high school. I love dancing ( from ballet to dancing in a club), and I’ve been told I’m pretty good.
10. Can you keep a secret? Yes.
11. Do you believe in life after death? After death comes either Heaven or Hell (and if you’re a Catholic, like me, Purgatory).
12. Do you believe in marriage?  Yes. Marriage is a beautiful thing. 
13. Do you believe in monogamy? Yes. Yes. Yes.
14. Do you consider yourself a neat or messy person? Depends. I really do try to be neat, but sometimes  I just get so stressed with school that I let everything else go. I need to work on that.
15. Do you consider yourself lazy? I can be.
16. Do you drink? Alcohol? Less than once a year, no joke.
17. Do you have a role model? My mom. No doubt.
18. Do you have any siblings? If yes, are they older/younger to you? Are they male or female? Yes. She’s younger by four years.
19. Do you have many friends? Are you in touch with friends from school/college? How close are you? The thing with me is that I’ve basically had the same friends since the 5th grade. I should work on adding more people to my inner circle. I like to think I’m pretty close with the majority of my friends.
20. Do you like cooking? Yes. I also love baking. It’s a stress reliever.
21. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Sure.
22. Do you like going window shopping? Yes.
23. Do you like partying? Attending parties? Giving parties? Attending.
24. Do you like pets? L-O-V-E them.
25. Do you like to go dancing? Yeah.
26. Do you like to travel? Which has been your best vacation so far? What made it so special? I love traveling. Best vacation is always going to Puerto Rico b/c of having the time to spend days with family and friends I haven’t seen in ages.
27. Do you love children? They’re super adorable.
28. Do you own or use a desktop computer or a laptop? Laptop!
29. Do you read newspapers? Nope.
30. Do you read? Has any particular book influenced you or left a life-changing impact? Yes. Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles is a book I love about overcoming racial boundaries in love.
31. Which are your favorite authors? I don’t have a favorite.
32. Do you see your father as the head of the family? It’s shared b/w him and my mom.
33. Do you smoke? Nope.
34. Do you want to have children? Why? Yes. I really do want to be a mom and have that family connection with my kids.
35. Have you ever been on a blind date? Nope.
36. Have you ever been on the wrong side of the law? Haha, thankfully no.
37. Have you ever been part of a not-for-profit organization and done volunteer work? I volunteer at my Church every Tuesday from 6:00-8:00/
38. Have you ever been to a school or college reunion? Never.
39. Have you ever had a narrow escape from death? Yes.
40. Have you ever taken a sabattical? No.
41. Have you ever undergone therapy of any sort? Not yet.
42. How ambitious are you? Extremely.
43. How do you like to celebrate your birthday? With close friends and my lovely family.
44. How do you feel about divorce? I don’t like it, but I understand it. I feel that it should be a last resort. If after truly trying then things don’t work out, I understand that a divorce is key. Unfortunately, not all marriages work.
45. How do you like to spend New Year's Eve? With the family. Always.
46. How important is money to you? It’s a necessary part of life, but I don’t thrive for it.
47. How important is your family to you? I would be nothing w/o them.
48. How is your relationship now with your siblings? Ups and downs, but I’m working on it. She really is an amazing person.
49. How long are you on the internet every day? Varies. At least 2 for leisure and 2 for school.
50. How many credit cards do you own? None. I only own a Debit card.
51. How many lovers have you had so far? None until marriage.
52. How often do you meet your parents? I live with them.
53. How old were you when you started dating Let’s skip this…
54. How patient are you? Depends on the situation and who I’m with.
55. How religious are you? Do you pray regularly? Extremely, and yes, I try to.
56. How romantic are you? I can be quite romantic, but I also find being too romantic annoying.
57. How tall do you want your mate to be? Either taller than me or no more than like 3 inches shorter than me. ( I’m 5 ft 5).
58. If a relative died and left you a million dollars, what would you do with the money? Okay, get ready for a semi-long explanation. I would divide that in 1/2.  Half of one 1/2 I would divide again and use part for my church and the rest for donations to animal shelters. The other 1/2 I’ll have left will be divided in 1/2 again. One half of that will be divided b/w my mom, father, and sister. The half I have left will be divided in 1/2 again. I’ll keep half of that for my own use, and the rest will be put in the bank.
59. If you could change one event in history what would it be?  Nothing. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and one change in history could throw the balance of today.
60. If you could go on a vacation anywhere in the world where would it be? What stops you? Spain; money.
61. If you could know one historical figure very intimately, who would that be? Does Jesus count? He’s historical, isn’t He? If not, then, Eleanor Roosevelt.
62. What are your political leanings like? It’s a big mess really. I don’t vote for a particular party; I vote for who I think will be better in office.
63. What did you do during the summers when you were growing up? Go to Puerto Rico and just relax.
64. What do you consider the five biggest drawbacks of your personality?
    1. Too bold
    2. Stubborn
    3. Too forgiving
    4. Worrier
    5. Too quiet (When first meeting people).
65. What do you consider the five biggest strengths of your personality?
    1. Understanding
    2. Loyal
    3. Compassionate
    4. Supporting
    5. Happy
66. What do you consider your biggest achievement to date? Staying friends with certain people.
67. What do you do for a living? What would you rather do, if money was not a consideration? I’m a student. I would rather be traveling around the world.
68. What do your parents do? Dad: Physical Therapist… Mom: Teacher’s Assistant
69. What has been your most generous act of charity, whether in cash or kind, yet? Every Tuesday….church….lol I’ve repeated this like twice I think.
70. What is the most adventurous thing you'ver ever done? I have no idea…
71. What is the most expensive gift you've ever bought for someone? Not telling!
72. What is the most stupid thing you've ever done? Ugh. Let’s forget about this, please.
73. What is the movie you've loved the most and would watch again, given a choice? Why? The Notebook. It’s amazing, that’s why.
74. What is your favorite sport? Soccer.
75. What is your idea of a perfect evening? Picnic outside while watching the sunset…maybe reading a book before.
76. What is your relationship like now with your father? I love him to death.
77. What is your relationship like now with your mother? I love her to death too!
78. What was it like, growing up with with your siblings? Arguments, like any sisters…but I have a ton of good memories. I really do love her.
79. What was your relationship like with your father when you were growing up? Great.
80. What was your relationship like with your mother when you were growing up? Great.
81. What would you do if your best friend disapproved of your boyfriend? I would try to find out why. If I still don’t agree I would tell her that I understand her feelings, but I really want this to work and ask for her support.
82. What's the best compliment you've ever received? Apparently I’m selfless…
83. What's the highest educational qualification you obtained?
    I’m in college right not.
84. If your ex wanted you back, would you take him/her back? No.
85. What's your earliest childhood memory? Watching my dad while he filmed my little sister after we brought her home from the hospital.
86. When is your birthday? January 5, 1990
87. When was the last time you cried It’s been a while.
88. When was the last time you felt really proud of yourself? Yesterday!
89. When was the last time you really laughed? Today.
90. When was the last time you told a lie? Um…I don’t remember.
91. Where you see yourself in five years time? Teaching.
92. Which body part are you more likely to notice first in someone of the opposite sex? Eyes.
93. Who could you not live without? (Other than family).  My friends.
94. Do you regret anything? Nope. Everything I’ve done has led me to where I am now.
95. Which is the largest loan you've ever taken? $1,000
96. Which is the largest purchase you've ever made? $2,000…but it was for textbooks!
97. Which is your favorite magazine? I don’t really read magazines.
98. Which personality traits do you want your partner to have? Which of these are an absolute must? 
1. Honest (MUST)
2. Trusting (MUST)
3. Understanding
4. Tough, but sweet
5. Anything else really…I’m not picky..
99. Which religion do you belong to? Catholic FTW!
100. Which was the last really impulsive thing you did? Are you an impulsive person? I don’t remember…lolz, I can be.
101. Would you prefer to marry someone who belongs to the same religion as you? Yes. It’ll make things easier, but I’m not going to push someone away just b/c of it.
102. Would you rather live in a large urban city, a small town or in the countryside? Why I’ve been told I’m a country girl at heart, and that is so true.

Decisions

Have you ever thought about how different things could be if you just hadn’t made that one decision? People underestimate how much one tiny, seemingly insignificant choice can change the ways things are. It’s crazy how, at the time, you don’t seem to realize the changes; however, once you look back, it’s all different. It’s as if you’ve changed, not only your own life, but the lives of those around you. Oh yes, our decisions (no matter how small they seem) affect every single person that has some connection to us. 

I’ve been thinking lately about all the decision I’ve made in my life. I don’t regret any decisions. Why regret something that I once thought was the best for me? It’s pointless. I have, however, starting thinking about the “what if…” scenarios.

1. What if I hadn’t made friends with…?
2. What if I hadn’t gone to…?
3. What if I hadn’t been with…?
4. What if I had said…?
5. What if I had done…?
6. What if I lived…?
7. What if I hadn’t tried to…?
8. What if I hadn’t hidden…?

As you can see, there are a plethora of “what if…” questions that are going through my mind. Believe me when I say there are more where those came from. Thing is, I realized that no matter how many times I ask myself these questions… no matter how many times I come up with alternate endings to the situations… and no matter how long I try to wish myself into a time when things were simpler, things won’t change. I made those decisions. Those decisions affected my life. My life is now where it’s supposed to be (according to those oh-so-lovely choices).  I have to admit, although I know that things aren’t going to change (those decisions I made, have been made and cannot be re-made), it’s fun to think about what could have been. To think that something as small as choosing whether or not to go to eat at a certain restaurant could change the entire flow of things is….insane!

It’s funny how life works though, isn’t it? Things we never thought would happen (both good and bad), happen. People who we never thought would make an impact (both positive and negative), do make an impact.

Things change. That’s life. Nothing ever stays the same for too long. We make decisions and watch them change the way our lives are headed. 

 

Verse of the day:
2 Corinthians 5:21 “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

Quote of the Day:
Life is not an exact science, it is an art.
--Samuel Butler, the younger

Fun With Maps…

 

Check out my “Insomniac? Perhaps…” blog!

This blog is really just me having some fun with the Map feature in Windows Live Writer.

 

That is Collin's Hall. Location: Baylor University. That was my dorm freshman year at Baylor. Woop?

 

This is one of the campuses of the community college I attend. The building to your right is the main building. 1/2 of it got cut off, but whatevs. Basically, it holds all classes except Sciene and Theater related classes. The tope left buildings (also partially cut off) include: a bookstore, the Science Hall, and a Deli. The building on the bottom left is a Chili's. The theater building and the rest of the parking are up and to the right, but those got cut off :-/ sorry about that.

 

This is another campus of the community college I go to. Last semester, I had to travel back and forth from this one to the other in between classes. It kind of sucked.

Insomniac? Perhaps…

Oh the joy of not being able to sleep. It’s the lovely hour of 3:00 AM, and yet, I am sitting here writing this blog because I simply cannot get to sleep. Trust me, I have tried multiple times; however, I just lay in bed looking at the ceiling as time ticks away. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.  Oh the horror! Has anyone ever thought of how many hours we waste a day by sleeping? Let’s say we’re all supposed to be up and ready to leave the house at…. 7:30 AM. We’ll want to wake up at 6:00 in order to get ready( shower, dress, eat, drink coffee, relax etc.). It is recommended that Adults get around 8 hours of sleep (give or take 30 min.). You will have to go to bed at 10:00 in order to get those full 8 hours. That’s 8 hours a day…gone. 56 hours a week. 2920 hours a year. That’s the equivalent of around 122 days (121.7 to be exact). Out of the 365 days in a year, if we all followed the “8 hr. rule,” we would be asleep 122 of those days. We only truly live life 243 days every year. Crazy? You want more? Pretend you live until the age of 85. That’s 31,025 days. Out of those 31, 025 days…we are asleep 10,370.  That’s around 29 years (28.4 to be exact). If we all live to be 85 years old, in reality, we’ve missed out on 29 years and lived only 56. Crazy enough for you? I never really realized how much time we waste by sleeping. I guess, it’s not a true waste. Although scientists haven’t found a definite reason as to why we sleep, it is a clear necessity. To read more about the theories scientist’s have come up with as to why we sleep, click : Here. Well, I think I’m done for tonight. Perhaps some hot tea will make me sleepy. This insomniac bids you adieu.

The math:

8hrs of sleep per day * 7 days=56 hrs per week.
8hrs of sleep per day*365 days=2,920 hours per year.
2,920hrs/24hrs= 122 days per year.

85 years*365 days=31,025 days.
(122 days per year/ 365 days in a year) *(x days/31,025 days)= 122(31,025)=365x=10,370 days asleep.
10,370 days/365=29 years asleep.

Quote of the Day:
Life is an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
--Carl Sandburg

From now on, I will have a “Quote of the Day” added on to the end of my blogs. You may thank the Windows Live Writer plug-in I downloaded. Ciao.

P.S. The tea didn’t work. I haven’t slept a wink, and it’s 6:07 AM. Yay?

My lovely Schedule…

Time	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
8	Biology II		Biology II
9	Biology II		Biology II
10	Biology II		Biology II
11
12:30	Intro Psych		Intro Psych
1	Intro Psych		Intro Psych
2		Chemistry		Chemistry
3		Chemistry		Chemistry
4		Chemistry		Chemistry
4:30		Chemistry		Chemistry	Anatomy
5					Anatomy
6					Anatomy
7					Anatomy
7:30

 

Okay, so here’s how it goes.

(Starting Jan. 20)

MW:  Bio II 8-11
           Intro Psych 12:30-2

TR:    Chem I 2-5

(Starting Feb. 20)

Fri: Anatomy 4:30-7:30

A little bit about me

Alright, so I already posted up a blog called “Reflection,” but I wanted to go ahead and take some time to tell you about myself. Currently, I am an 19 year old college student hoping to pursue a career in either physical therapy or teaching high school Biology. I haven’t quite decided which one I’m going to do yet; however, I’m leaning slightly more towards the latter. I’m 100 % Puerto Rican by blood, but I have lived in Texas my entire life. That doesn’t mean that I’ve never been able to experience the Puerto Rican culture; it’s quite the opposite actually. I go to Puerto Rico almost every year, and I love every minute of it. I have friends here and there. I’m going to post a map to show you where Puerto Rico is (in my experience few people know it’s location). If you’ve read “Reflection,” then you know I studied at Baylor University my freshman year (and hated it). I didn’t transfer out because of that particular reason,rather, I left due to it being to expensive. I’m currently at Houston Community College, and I plan on being here for two more semesters. I love it. After, I’m transferring to the University of Houston. I’m honestly just a really basic girl. I hate drama, and I try my best to leave it behind (although it seems like it always follows the people in my life). I’m down to earth, and I’ll tell you what I think (nicely, of course). I’m really quiet when I first meet someone; it’s not that I’m being rude, it’s just that I’m observing the person. I tend to get a good feel of how people are that way. After a while, I’m a “typical” Puerto Rican: loud, loud…and did I mention loud? I work on that in public though. I’m proud of who I am, and of the morals I continue to uphold. I love to just hang out and talk with people. I really don’t have to be going anywhere to have fun. The way I see it, if I really want to see someone, then I don’t care what we’re doing as long as we’re together. I love my Texas and my Puerto Rican friends with all of my heart. I would love to move over to Puerto Rico every possible vacation moment so I could spend more time with my people over there, but we just don’t have the money to do so. I enjoy doing anything really. I’m not a picky girl, and I will try anything at least once. I think that’s all, for now. If there’s anything else you want to know, just comment, and let me know.

That's P.R. to the right. Yes, it is a U.S. territory. Yes, they are citizens.

Okay, so there's Miami, Florida (top left) and the island with "Ponce" is Puerto Rico. Ponce is just another very popular city. The capital is San Juan. It's a lovely 4.5 - 5 hr flight from Houston, Texas to San Juan, Puerto Rico. On the way back, it's only 4 hours. Yay wind.

You’re all welcome to add me on Myspace and Facebook. Just tell me that you read my blog, and you’re good to go.

             

                    Pic on bottom: My girls in P.R.        

             Both are like family.

Reflection

As I'm sitting here at the computer writing this, I wonder why the hell I'm doing it. The chances that someone reads this are slim-to-none, but the question is: "do I even care?" It's been a crazy couple of months filled with some drama, family problems, but most of all... inner battles. I've reached yet another point in my life where I've started to re-evaluate everything. I remember when things were easy... when I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life, who my true friends were, and which roads I would take to get what I wanted out of life. I thought I had it all figured out, yet here I am questioning everything... again. I've learned to put walls up to "protect" myself from everyone around me throughout my high school years. I've let few people past those walls with hopes that I wouldn't regret it. I don't regret any of it... no matter how many times I got "hurt" along the way. It was all for a good cause. I grew. The problem is that I not only built up this wall to keep others out, but recently I've realized that I built one to keep myself out as well. It's not until recently that I've been able to fully break through and realize that I don't really know what I want out of life... at least not fully. It's a scary thought. I thought I knew I wanted to go to Baylor as a pre-vet Biology major, so I went. I soon realized that I really hated that place. Of course, me being the girl I am, I acted as if I loved it all. Only the ones who knew me too well saw right through my little act, and for that I am ever grateful. I stayed there for two semesters, and all hatred towards the school aside, I enjoyed being with people who truly did care about each other. I met amazing people there, and it really is sad that the school itself ruined my time there. I closed myself off second semester, or at least I tried to. Situations forced me to go out, and I made even more wonderful memories. I had never been so happy to see Summer come. I was finally fully satisfied, and I realized that Baylor really just wasn't the place for me. I transferred, with a ton of hassle due to Baylor 's various offices not communicating with one another, and ended up at HCC. It seemed like the perfect choice: cheap, an overall good school, and closer to home. I would be able to take some time to think about what I really wanted. 

It was then that I came to the conclusion that I didn't know what I wanted. I hate not knowing. I've had talk after talk with my parents, and I'm extremely blessed to have parents as amazing as mine. Although I'm not certain as to what my future is, I have been able to receive clarity on other aspects of my life. There are things that I need to get rid of... people who I need to stop relations with... places I need to visit more often. All of these will happen in time. God has brought me so much enlightenment these past months that, in all honesty, takes my breath away. I'm still "blinded" in some areas; however, I realize that I am in control of others. There are those few people in my life that truly do have my best interest at heart, and for that, I thank God for placing them in my life each and every day. I realize that there are others who are using me as a stepping stone in order to rise to the top, and for now, that action will continue... that is until I put a stop to it. I write this not because I want the world to know about my life, but because I want to be able to look back on this and understand that I am not forced to be perfect.... that I am allowed to feel lost, confused, hurt, and alone. I've realized that everyone feels some, or all of these emotions, at some point in their life... and it's okay. We are not meant to be perfect creatures in the eyes of others. We are meant to be perfect in the eyes of God. He created us knowing that we would feel these emotions, but He also knew that they would eventually lead to making us stronger and more in tune with ourselves. Nobody in this world is the true definition of "perfect". I know that I'm not perfect. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, and in one more semester I'm going to be a junior in college. I should at least have some idea, right? Well, for now...I'm slightly clueless. I've realized that it's okay. I'll know soon enough, my parents and I are sure of it. I look back at who I was at Baylor, and I realize that I really wasn't my "true" self. I regret putting up these walls, and I'm slowly working on breaking them down. Again, I'm not quite sure why I wrote this; however, I don't regret doing so, nor do I regret posting it up for the world to see. 

This is who I am. I'm not perfect. I don't have my entire life set out. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't understand myself sometimes. I do, however, know that at the end of the day, I can officially say that I am happy being me. I'm happy with the friends I have, and the friends to come. My happiness depends on me. I know what makes me tick (although sometimes I think some of my friends know me better than I know myself). I can now wake up in the mornings and say... psh, yeah I hated being at Baylor, and I've been lost along the way... but as of today, I have no problem being lost. Sometimes we have to get lost in order to find our way back towards the right path. I hope whoever actually took the time to read this is blessed each and every day. I hope that everyone of you realizes that feeling lost and confuse is OK. I hope you all can slowly break down those walls you've built and strive to freeing yourself. I hope you all excel in life, and lastly, I hope you all never let anyone change who you are.The end.